He said that if we did go out, we would probably end up married cause there was no way he was gonna break up with me. He wants to meet new people and wishes the same for me. He wants to still be friends and said he would back off texting if my new guy didn’t like how close we were. He also said he hopes the new guy is uglier than him which made me laugh.
This was what I’ve been waiting to hear. The end.
After a whole year of confusion, I actually feel a whole lot better about myself and who I am as a person.
I dunno how I lost myself like that but I did. I can’t even say that won’t happen again because I get too excited and just throw myself into someone (or something).
I just need to learn a balance and stick with that. One day I’ll have someone be foolishly in love with me and I’ll be foolishly in love with them and it’ll be perfect for once.
I kinda went on a date with myself today. I needed a little distraction from my feelings.
I just need to vent for a little bit…
I don’t understand how you could say all those things and not make it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me? When the roles were reversed, I never said that I loved you because those are serious words. I took your distance as trying to get used to working your new job and school. I guess the only person I should be mad at is myself. I’m just upset that I had this fantasy all in my head while you were indifferent to me the whole time. It would have been nice to get a verbal “I don’t see you like that (anymore).” This has become an emotional pain and I can’t seem to shake this gut feeling I get whenever that happens.
I just wish you better explained yourself rather than just stop answering back. Stop making me have to piece stuff together. I was in love with you. I couldn’t see the obvious signs.
It’s funny that right after he says he loves me after years of knowing him that we begin to not see each other. Its like a cruel joke. He used to show it and now he can only say it…
So I signed the papers today! I am officially employed with Express Employment Professionals where they’ll set me up with banquet server jobs.
So, I got hired today! Gonna make it official on Monday. This is just what I needed!
These past couple of days have been so depressing. Stupid snow “storm” cut into precious out the house.
I could have been surrounded by possible future friendships if it weren’t for Atlanta being unprepared for 1/2 inches of snow.
I just want to feel like I’m needed in someone’s life. I am literally fine with doing anything as long as I’m in your conpany.
It’s official. I feel like I’m un-fuck-withable. Shit. I need to start talking to people in class and make some friends.
I need my future long term friends now.
With school being cancelled and all, I’ve been forced to choose between homework and job applications. So far, I have filled out almost 10 applications and read 30 pages out of my chemistry book.
I still have to
Putting this list here as a reminder to myself that I have no “bored” moments. I have things to do!